Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize