**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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