sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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