I love how my cats smell like pot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
