I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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