i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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