How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
