It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!