And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
3 2 1 whiskey
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.