i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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it's not cheating when I paid for it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
bring money and cleavage
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.