I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
there was a trapeze. enough said
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.