Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
