where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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