..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize