You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
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Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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