Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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