Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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