In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I'm really busy with my period
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