he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Let's get the cat blown out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
