Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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