billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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