And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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