theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
