My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize