Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
