Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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