I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How does one acquire holy water?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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