Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.