You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
