I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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