Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
