the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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