so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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