You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize