pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
