Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
