I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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