they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
