So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
