Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
