You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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