So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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