its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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