The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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