I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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