i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
