just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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