There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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