you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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