Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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