you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
