well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
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You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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