I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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