IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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