At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Naked Twister starts at high noon
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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