your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
