I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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