look no pants
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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