I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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