You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
