I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
